August 7, 2014
Holy moly, life has changed a lot since I last posted in November 2013!!!
1. I’m having a baby! It was a conscious conception (intentional) and I’m due around September 1st. I elected not to have an ultrasound (no tests have been done on ultrasounds since 1993, they’re not proven safe, they’re not useful for diagnostics unless you’re planning to abort in the event of defects, and the baby didn’t want one) so the sex will be a surprise!
4. I moved to Hawaii! I’m currently living in Honaunau, on the Big Island, south of Kona. My intuition’s been directing me to Maui but things have been working out so fantastically here that I’m here for now, living in an adorable little house on 15 acres of jungle with two other conscious mamas.
5. I’ve now moved my blogging over to my very own website, LightLiving.Us. It’s brand new so still needs a lot of work, but I’m excited to be creating something of my own. I’ll probably continue posting here for awhile to direct people to that site.
November 11, 2013
For the past six months I’ve been on somewhat of a sabbatical from consistent blogging. Though I haven’t been sharing as much as I’d prefer, I’ve still been focusing on my soul-healing and joy-following journey around the world. After about a year in Italy, I returned to the States in June of this year to celebrate the lives of my grandmother and father, who both made their transitions while I was out of the country.
Since returning stateside I’ve been roaming the west coast – Washington, Oregon and California. I spent a few months living in Rogue River/Grants Pass, Oregon, with my Aunt Jody and good friend China Brooks. I went on a gorgeous camping retreat on Mount Shasta, then roadtripped down to San Francisco and Los Angeles and San Diego, reuniting with friends I hadn’t seen in years. Reunion is one of my favorite things in the world – the joy of reunion is worth the separation.
My intuition talked me into going to Burning Man super last minute – two days before the Burn started. It was transformational, as always, and ended up redirecting the course of my life. I ended up living in San Francisco for a bit afterwards with friends I met on the playa, then went to visit Portland for the first time ever before coming back down to San Francisco for the month of October.
And now, I’m in Ashland, a spiritual town known for its Shakespeare festivals and for being the home of author Neale Donald Walsch, the guy who channeled “Conversations with God” (which I still haven’t read… I tried to read it in Italian but didn’t have the patience).
China and I are living in a beautiful 117-year-old yellow Victorian house for the month, working on creative projects and learning how to be in healthy relationship in close quarters. Ie, practicing talking about our feelings, being totally transparent about our fears and vulnerabilities, and laughing at our crazy egos!
Yes, there are ghosts in the house, though after the first night they seem happy we’re here, and at our request they haven’t done anything to spook us… yet.
Here’s a tour of the downstairs!
August 27, 2013
I’m headed to Burning Man in about an hour.
It’s Monday. I decided I was going on Friday.
Making the decision, committing to this last-minute leap, was terrifying. Last time I went, in 2010, I planned for 9 months in advance.
On Friday, when I was wavering – do I stay or do I go? – a friend reminded me:
“Everyone describes Burning Man as transformational. Every year. So. That’s what you’re all about.”
And she is damn right. I am about transforming ourselves into OURSELVES, our true radiant joyful divine selves. Remembering. But even the reminders need to be reminded sometimes. Thank god for good friends.
So I made the decision, I committed, I took the leap, and everything has worked out so seamlessly and perfectly that I had to laugh. I can’t recount all of the brilliant synchronicities because any minute some new friends are coming to pick me up in an RV and we’re headed out to the Playa.
But while I was watching the sun set tonight, a Coyote ran by me, within about 15 feet. Whenever I see an animal nowadays, I immediately look up its Medicine, which in Native American teachings means its Message.
Coyote had some perfect messages for Burning Man:
“If you have [seen Coyote], you can be sure that some kind of medicine is on its way – and it may or may not be to your liking.
Whatever the medicine is, good or bad, you can be sure it will make you laugh, maybe
even painfully. You can also be sure that Coyote will teach you a lesson about yourself.
If we forget to be children and take life with laughter and ease, Coyote
appears to pester us until we let go of the inner pain that keeps us from knowing the joys
The cosmic joke is not just on ourselves but on everybody else.
When you destroy the illusion of who you are to others and be yourself, you will have restored your innocence.
Get ready for more of the laughs – lots more.
When was the last time you did something just because it was fun?
Find it amusing and laugh. If you can’t laugh at yourself and your crazy antics, you have lost the game.
Coyote always comes calling when things get too serious.”
August 16, 2013
Someone in my family told me they weren’t sure if they were disappointed or envious of me. This person said that I have so many talents and gifts, I could’ve done anything I wanted with my life, and they didn’t yet seem to think that I’d done what I was “supposed” to – echoing something that’s been repeated to me since I was young: “You’re not living up to your full potential.”
At the same time, this person admitted that they didn’t know anyone else with my capacity for enjoying life.
And so they were unsure: disappointed with what they felt I hadn’t accomplished, given my intelligence and abilities, or envious that things always seemed to work out for me and that despite a lack of clear and commonly accepted life accomplishments during the first 34 years of my life, I seemed to enjoy life more than most.
Their disappointment interested me. Within their mind there was an invisible ruler that I wasn’t measuring up to. Not good enough, incorrect, I was doing life wrong.
Yet I believe that I am doing exactly what I came here to do – enjoy life, live it, gain experience, wisdom and understanding through living and studying spirituality, myself, and the world, and share it with others.
Some people might be hurt by being told by someone that they were disappointed in them. But I saw the judgment as the judgment against oneself, a projection of the fears that spin in the mind.
July 12, 2013
I’ve said this before but I feel it’s time to say it again –
Living your dreams is terrifying. When you begin to follow your soul’s truth, your ego will freak the f#@k out.
Your ego is your small self, everything you were taught, purposefully or inadvertantly, about this physical material world. You were taught to be afraid. You were taught you would die. You were taught that you were weak and at risk. You were taught to avoid pain, avoid being different, avoid standing out. You were taught to avoid being YOU. You were taught that to survive you had to protect and defend, to hide, to change.
But that’s all backwards. There is no safety, no security, no protection. The only risk you run in this life is never really LIVING it. You have a deep and unconscious belief that your fears and worries will protect you, but really all they do is keep what you truly want out – the experience of being alive, the experience of giving and receiving love, the experience of joy and connection and intimacy. These experiences are not found but created via your conscious choice, by giving that which you seek, by opening, by being authentically, truly you.
July 6, 2013
“I never decide if an idea is good or bad until I try it.
So much of what gets in the way of things being good is thinking that we know.
And the more that we can remove any baggage we’re carrying with us, and just be in the moment, use our ears, and pay attention to what’s happening, and just listen to the inner voice that directs us, the better.
But it’s not the voice in your head. It’s a different voice. It’s not intellect. It’s not a brain function. It’s a body function, like running from a tiger.
…Being open to using your instincts instead of going, “Oh, that’s not going to work.” Or listening to the part of your brain that goes, “Oh, that’s out of tune.” Or the part of your brain that says, “That’s too loud.”
You have to shut off all of those voices and look for these special moments — these moments that you accept you have no control over.
So much of my job is to not think — to be open to what’s there, and then use my intuition to see where it takes me.”
July 1, 2013
I feel like I’m living in a magical new reality. Which means that I AM living in a magical new reality.
I’ve been wanting to share all these stories and I’m not even sure where to start. Things have been happening so quickly, flowing so powerfully, that I can’t even seem to put the words together to describe what I’m going through.