I am Eternal Energy

One of the ways I consciously create my life is by subscribing to the blogs of people I admire. Through their blogs I learn what they do – my beliefs of what’s possible are expanded – and I am inspired to take similar actions in my own life. Thus is formed the foundation of the kick-ass life I’m building for myself. I’m excited to see what I’ll have created by Feb 3, 2012. It’s gonna be AMAZING!

One of the many awesome, inspiring, kick-ass blogs I subscribe to is the Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau. (I just tried to spell that Guillibleu, but no, it’s Guillebeau. I have no idea how to say that. Which is why I set an intention to learn French this year. Gwee-leh-bo?).

Chris is a major ideal-life liver and inspirer. He is “an unconventional person doing remarkable things.” I am and always have been an unconventional person, since the first “Weirdos Club” I formed at age 7 with my friends Marcell and Janelle. (Seriously, the club members were named Michelle, Marcell, and Janelle. Kevin was a part-time member, but he wasn’t unconventional enough. And, obviously, his name didn’t rhyme…). Anyways, I’m committed to returning to and fully owning my unconventionalness this year. I’m done being blonde and have dyed my hair red-orange. I’ve stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine. I’ve pretty much gone vegan and refined sugar/processed food free (what’s the name when you don’t eat refined sugar? Sugar-free? Corn-syrup free?). I’m fully committed to my daily meditation and spiritual practices. I’m sharing the psychic dreams and freaky hallucinations I’ve been having (I’ve only had one hallucination, but it involved blood and freaked me out…I’m hoping the person I was thinking about at the time isn’t killed anytime soon, but I guess we’ll see).

Totally digressing here.

Chris’s post today, “Accomplishing Everything,” really resonated with me.

Ok wait, that’s not entirely true. I’ve actually only read the first two paragraphs.

But earlier this morning I blogged about time being on my side.

Earlier this morning I wrote and posted two blogs, I went running on the beach in Venice, I meditated, I watched a flock of twittering sandpipers pinwheel over the waves as one organic mass, at one moment a grey cloud, the next spinning in the wind to flash their white bellies at me. I had a phone conversation with a woman I admire, a Harvard grad who specializes in unconventional education and lives 2,176 miles away, and set up an appointment to interview her (I also made her envious of the fact that I was going to the beach while it was in the upper 20’s where she’s at). I went to the Conservatory of Coffee and Tea and got myself a caffeine-free Chai Soy Latte and a Raspberry Polenta Scone (I know there are sugar in both, but I haven’t had processed sugar for over a week, so I’m fine with an occasional cheat as long as I don’t backslide into mindless consumption). As I sat soaked in sunshine, savoring my tea and scone, I wrote my Three Morning Pages (see The Artist’s Way) while listening to Bon Iver.

I got all of this done before going to my day job at 10:30am.

How?

By saying no to a lot of other things. Like TV. And alcohol. And caffeine. And processed sugar. And crap foods. And going out. And saying yes to things I don’t want to do.

All of these things suck my energy.  Time is energy, energy is time… that’s what I’ve been finding to be true lately, anyhow. The more energy I have, the more time I seem to have.

But this energy has to be paired with focus and intention, or it burns itself up. I’m now having to sort out how to keep myself from burning up. I knew I had a problem when I went to bed at 10pm and was awake at 1am. Like, awake awake. Ready to start the day. That’s not sustainable.

Well, actually, now that I’m writing that – I don’t know if that’s true. I’ve been told that’s not sustainable, that’s not healthy. But what if what I’ve been told is wrong? Haven’t I been told that by the people who are wasting their energy on distractions and addictions, people who need recovery time to replace the energy they’ve wasted…?

Perhaps it’s not true.

Perhaps I only need 3 hours of sleep.

I was trying to let my body figure it out, but when went from 8 hours of sleep to 6 hours of sleep to 3 hours of sleep, I got scared.

In the past, people have always asked me how I do it. How I have so much energy. How I can dance all night and be up at 7am ready for work. I never had answers – maybe genetics? Or just a choice? But I know that when I was doing something I loved – dancing – my energy was practically unlimited.

I’m starting to experiment with my life, my time, and my energy now. I’m slowly cutting out all the old energy drains – foods, addictions, distractions, people, clutter. They all draw emotional, physical, or mental energy.

When all of those drains have fallen away, how much energy will I have then?

And what will I choose to do with it?