Communication: Share your feelings, never your judgements

January 25, 2011

The Daily Love sends out my favorite daily inspirational emails.

Today’s email was about communication. All of my friends will tell you I’m an excellent communicator, but any of my ex-boyfriends will tell you that communication was my biggest issue. I’ve been working through that block in the past year and a half, and I’m proud of my progress. However, I’m ALWAYS looking to improve!

Here are my favorite bits from today:

“Here is a great secret to communication, ESPECIALLY in PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: share your feelings and NEVER your judgments. No one can disprove how you feel; how you feel is true. What you “think” about someone else is 100% subjective and can create resistance and distance.

It is wise advice to never start a conversation with “you”, rather with “I feel”. No one can make you feel any way. The way you interpret your life and the events of your life result in how you feel. The meaning YOU give the events of your life determines how you feel – don’t give that power to someone else.”

 

“Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.”

– Rollo May, an American existential psychologist.

 

“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.”

– Jim Rohn, an American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker.

 

 

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One Response to “Communication: Share your feelings, never your judgements”

  1. Zia said

    Communication is so key in a relationship. I always complained that I never had men that would communicate with me. A byproduct of their non-communication was that I took all that frustration and anger and those feelings and stuffed them inside, and learned how to be non-communicative myself.

    Now I’m in a relationship with a man who does communicate and I am the one who doesn’t. I’m learning how to not stuff and to say what i mean. The main source of my non-communication is fear of abandonment. However, the more situations we have where i am able to speak my truth and he doesn’t leave, the more free i feel to communicate.

    It’s a habit (the non-communication) that I know I will overcome. I will be undoing 12 years of relationships with non-communicators. I intend to not let it take that long to undo.

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