Update – No Complaining-Gossiping-Criticizing Challenge aka We Are Gods

January 20, 2011

I’m loving this No Complaining-Gossiping-Criticizing Challenge!

And I’m not just saying that because I’m trying to make it through a day without complaining.

I’m seven days into the challenge, and I haven’t made it a day yet without complaining, gossiping, or criticising, at least once. Or twice. Or three times. Or five.

This biggest surprise to me has been realizing how much I gossip. I define gossip as talking about another person. The roots of the word gossip are pretty interesting.

To give you some quick background on where I’m coming from: I believe that each of us is God; we are each divine; God is within us because we are conscious, and we are creative, and God is consciousness and creativity.

The word ‘gossip’ comes from the Old English godsibb. God, as in God, and, kinsman. Or…sibling.

When you talk about someone, you are talking about a Sister God or a Brother God.
When you talk about someone, you’re talking about another God.
And you words are limiting and changing that other God.

Words are powerful. Words create.

If I tell you about MY experience of someone else, I’m putting a limit on your perception of that person. Each person will have their own unique, personal experience of any other person; we’re all looking through our own reality tunnels. So whether what I tell you about another person is good or bad, I’m still putting MY filter of that person, my experience, my perception of that person, into your head.

And that’s going to change your experience of that person, even if it’s in a minute, subconscious way.

I’d rather not do that.

I’d rather let you have your own experience of the other person, unadulterated by MY experience (which includes all of my childhood experiences, all of the conditioning I’ve been subjected to, all of the assumptions I’ve made, all of the pain I’ve lived through).

A relationship can ONLY ever involve two people – one on one. Mano-a-mano. God on God.

So, I’ve decided that I want to have my relationships one on one. If someone’s doing something I don’t like, I will talk to them, not talk about them to someone else. If I have an issue I’m trying to work out that involves another person, I might tell a friend the feelings that are coming up for me due to my experience. I still don’t need to talk about the other person to explain the emotions that are occurring in my own body. And if I think someone might be a bad person, I will trust other people to either follow their own intuition, or to learn the lessons they need to experience in their lives to grow to their next level. Trust and Respect.

You’re your own God; you can take care of yourself. I don’t need to spend my energy talking about you.

I’d rather create something.

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18 Responses to “Update – No Complaining-Gossiping-Criticizing Challenge aka We Are Gods”

  1. mikey said

    YOU are AWESOME!!!! =)

  2. Shannon said

    very *GOOD* post michelle!!!!!!!

  3. MISTY said

    ALRIGHT. You’ve successfully inspired me. Well done 🙂

  4. Shelli said

    I dont know about everyone else, but I find this so easy. I feel like shit when I gossip, almost like Im being gossiped about. I would hate that. As for complaining….all it does is make me cringe. It doesnt do anything to help the situation and it really just brings everyone around you down. Unless of course you are the type of person who thrives on that feeling (the feeling of acceptance, while someone else either confirms your complaints or complains themselves) I certainly dont. Just get through whatever you want to complain about and PRESS ON.Personally I find it easier to get through the things I have complaints about by thinking of the positive in the situation. It’s as easy as knowing it will all be over if you just get through it. All you can do is give it your all, try to have a positive attitude and keep moving. There is always a lesson in everything. 🙂

    In adding to this: People…DO NOT JUDGE. It is human to judge, but come on. Do you think that what is said about you or other people for that matter is the truth? No one really knows except you and individuals that you have actually had experiences with. When I was in college I did my 110 page senior thesis on Irving Goffman’s theory of Impression Management. Its basically a theory that states that we as individuals are always managing the impressions we give off to others. Impression management in the workplace, Impression management with your parents etc. The original idea I wanted to apply for this theory, which I will leave unwritten, I didn’t end up doing for the mere fact I had to say it in front of my classmates, therefore I wrote it on “Impression Management of College Students with Their Professors”. You can only imagine how awkward that was while I was in office hours discussing my ongoing thesis, LOL, because I was impression managing at the same time as actually asking for hlep. Anyhow back to the point. When individuals gossip to me about others, not only do I know that they will in turn possibly gossip about myself, I dont understand why they are so quick to judge. Especially if it is only an assumption made from an outsider looking in. I ALWAYS give people the benefit of the doubt until they do something that directly wrongs me or I see them directly wrong another individual with my own eyes. People that gossip may only be passing along a story they heard from another, therefore your spreading negative thoughts and possibly untrue things about this person. No one knows what a person is truly like until you GET TO KNOW THEM YOURSELF.

    The grass is always greener…the funny thing is, it may be greener on your side.

    Mind your own business. Just think of what people may say about you. They HAVE NO IDEA, and if you dont care what people think about you, then STOP talking about other people.

    Sigh. I think its so important. Life is tough enough.

  5. Zia said

    I love this share so much. This totally resonated with me. I have two friends (God 1 and God 2). One of them is no longer close with me because of “gossip” that was shared by God 2, as defined by you. By (God 2 and me), the two of us processing through her feelings about the other God 1…I lost all ability to remain just in my relationship with that person God 1. My perception of that person was tainted, all respect was lost. It may not be fair to the other God 1, but that is what happened, and there’s no real going back on that now, a relationship lost and a lesson learned.

    This is a great challenge you’re undertaking. I’ll ask more about it when I’m ready to follow in your footsteps.

    • lunasealife said

      I’m glad it resonated! Everything works out in its perfect ways…it’s awesome that you learned from it. I’m trying to figure out how not to have to learn lessons the hard way. I find listening to my intuition helps. 🙂

  6. Christopher said

    This certainly resonates with me and I’m in agreement. I’d like to pose a question, though: Given that we can’t have direct one-on-one conversations with all people we are interested in experiencing ourselves (e.g., President Obama or another public figure), how do we develop an understanding of the person without gossiping?

    XOXO

    • lunasealife said

      Great question! However, Obama writes books, Obama gives speeches, Obama addresses the country on YouTube. I bet Obama’s on Twitter. So I suppose you could go to those sources to hear directly from him. Even then, I’m assuming much of that is written for him, or spun or controlled. So that’s an even broader issues – is there the possibility/probability of intimacy or direct connection via Media?

      Why do you want to experience that person yourself? And why should that person be making decisions for you? Maybe I don’t agree with the entire system we have set up. Why should one God (or a collection of Gods, like the House and Senate) rule over other Gods, you and I?

      Because some people don’t accept their own divinity, I guess.

  7. jody said

    Be gentle on yourselves. From my experience it goes with your age -this gossiping thing. But what do you think about warning someone about someone? I have a client who will always try to whittle a deal at whoever’s expense and I warned an associate about her.

    • lunasealife said

      I think by warning someone you’re #1 Limiting the person you’re warning about by assuming they’ll do the same thing #2 Instill fear in the person you’re warning #3 Getting in the way of the person you’re warning – I’m trying to trust that they can take care of themselves, and that if something happens it’s a lesson they needed to learn. It’ll be much more powerful for them if it comes through their experience. If you warn them, they’re not actually learning anything…

      Hi Aunt Jody! Love you!

      I’m afraid people are getting the idea that I’m going around gossiping about people all the time. I don’t. 😉

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