Change

I saw today on Facebook that one of my cousins was surprised by some sudden changes in her life. I made a comment about better things coming.

A bit later I went to read my Daily Dose of Sanity, and the topic was… change!

Change is almost always frightening because the unknown is scary. But on the other side of fear is excitement – the potential for something new, stimulating, and even better.

The following is today’s excerpt from Alan Cohen’s book Daily Dose of Sanity. I’ve been reading it every morning for a few years now. I often find the entries to be oddly relevant and synchronistic.

Change always comes bearing gifts. – Price Pritchett

When I saw an ad for a valuable cell-phone upgrade, I called the phone company and placed an order. The agent told me that the response to the promotion was so great that there would be a 30- to 90-day wait for the phone. Okay, I can wait, I figured, and resigned myself to doing so. A week later while driving into town, I dialed a number from my cell phone. To my surprise, I received the message: “Your phone is not authorized for use. Please call the business office.” The business office had no clue why my phone would not function. My bill was paid, and their diagnostic test showed no problem. I talked to several agents, none of whom had any answers. “Try calling later,” they told me. I felt frustrated and confused, but I had no choice, so I decided to just table the issue for the moment. When I arrived home later that day, I found a FedEx box sitting at my doorstep. Inside was my new cell phone. I plugged it in, and it worked perfectly. The company had disconnected my old phone because it had transferred service to my new one.

If something in your life is not working anymore, do not fight to reinstate it or keep it alive. Hanging on to what has outlived its usefulness will create stress, confusion, and no real results. You will go in circles and only grow more frustrated. If you have to struggle or fight to keep an old thing going, it probably no longer belongs to you – and you do not need it. At some point your best move will be to simply let go and trust. Then marshal your energy in a forward direction. Quit focusing on what was, and focus on what is next. Ask yourself, “If that was not it, then what is it?” When you can tap into that answer, you will understand why the other thing had to go. Sometimes you have to release the old before you discover what the new is. Who knows, you might just find something better at your doorstep.

How might you make room for what is new and better by releasing what has outlived its usefulness?

Affirmation: I do not need to fight to hold on to anything. I trust and let the universe deliver my good.

My cousin has helped me through some huge changes in my life these past two years; I hope this reminder to trust will give her a bit of relief during the changes she’s now going through.

Love you cuz!

Look for the silver lining! Italy 2013

Work/Play

“A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between their work and their play; their labor and their leisure; their mind and their body; their education and their recreation. They hardly know which is which. They simply pursue their vision of excellence through whatever they are doing, and leave others to determine whether they are working or playing. To themselves, they always appear to be doing both.”  

-Francoise Rene Auguste Chateaubriand

I want to live like this!!!

I’m getting closer. Today was a lovely mix of work/play. Which eventually will just be play. “Productive Play” I suppose would be a better term.

I’m still trying to upload yesterday’s video – It’s very very strange that every time I try to upload it to Youtube, it doesn’t upload the file I tell it to, it uploads Day 12′s fireside video. There must be a reason.

I’ve found in my life  that there’s a good reason when technology doesn’t cooperate with me. And it’s always in my favor. I’ve been saved from purchasing something I didn’t need to/the wrong thing on a number of occasions. Like at the end of the great Road Trip of 2011 when I tried to buy a $167 Amtrak train ticket from Boston to Washington DC. I made a number of attempts, but the Amtrak site wouldn’t accept my credit card. I eventually gave up and decided to wait til the next day to try buying the $167 ticket again.

That next day, while on a whale-watching cruise with a girl from Slovenia (or Slovakia?) who I was couchsurfing with, I met a woman who was celebrating her birthday. We got to chatting and over the course of the boat ride – during which we saw about 20 amazing humpback whales – this woman mentioned that her husband, sitting next to her, was a train conductor.

For Amtrak. And…. the train he conducted… went from Boston to Washington DC.

I am not making this is#t up.

Two days later, they picked me up and put me on a train to DC with him. For free.

The woman even made me a gift package – cookies, juice, a sudoku puzzle book, a pen and a journal. These people gave from the pure kindness of their hearts. It was a beautiful, magical, heart-opening experience for me.

And the point I started with was – if technology doesn’t want me to upload that video for you, fine. I trust there’s a reason. I’ll try re-editing it tomorrow, or just moving on.

So today, after work/playing on Academy affairs this morning, I took the rest of the day to follow blisses. It turned out to be a beautiful magical day. I feel intensely connected to myself, my soul – authentic, in-joy, in the Vortex, in the Flow. Intensely happy with life, with what I’m doing, with the Me that I’m becoming, with the open potential and possibilities of the future.

Clearing out half my clothing feels like it’s unblocked a lot of energy. OR, the energy was unblocked, enabling me to have the clarity to release so much. Chicken/egg/chicken/egg.

Also, rather unfortunately, my bedroom has been invaded by ants tonight. They’re big black and red ones, and they’re streaming in a crack in my window, crawling up my legs, across my keyboard, on my arms. I don’t want to smoosh them but I also don’t want to be bitten. So far so good. Every few minutes I’ll send one air-born from my arm or leg with a whoosh of air. I hope they don’t break legs or carapaces upon landing. Ok wait ants don’t have carapaces. Thoraxes, I suppose.

Like the Bumblebees, the Ants must have a message for me – so I went to Google Guru for answers.

Here’s the main message of Ant medicine:

“PATIENCE. Ant’s medicine is the strategy of patience.

Ant people are active, community-minded folks who see the greater future needs of their town. Ant people are planners, like Squirrel, and are content to see their dreams being built a little at a time.

If you have Ant medicine, you … are content in knowing that “what is yours will come to you.” This knowing is good medicine. It shows a trust in the Universe to provide. If Ant meandered into your spread today, it is time to show a little trust and patience in some life situation. You may have forgotten that you will always receive that which you need, at the time you need it most. It is not on the horizon or just around the next anthill, you may need to use some strategy. How can you put to use your power of creation until “it” arrives -whatever “it” means to you at this time? Ant is working for the good of the whole. Are you? If you are, be assured that the whole wants the same goodness for you, and that it will be provided.”

From http://scottfoglesong.printandwebdesign.com/32-ant.pdf

 

Well, I’m definitely working on building my dreams. And I’m definitely community-and-greater-future-minded. And Trust has been my main focus lately. Trusting that everything is working out, trusting that I don’t need to worry. And lastly, I’m definitely putting my powers of creation in, and things are shifting, things are happening…

From The Better Man Project

Happy LightLiving!

The LightLiving Challenge – Day 15

I start today’s video out by sharing my office view:

A hard day at the office…

I got my first website clients! So excited!!!!!!

So continuing from the big wardrobe audit yesterday, I picked 5 items of clothing to release:

1.  White teeshirt – hand-me-down

2. White wifebeater tank top – had a friend bring these down to Argentina with her for me about a year ago.

3. Truth tank top – bought at Yoga West in LA; LOVE the affirmation (see below)

4. Purple long sleeve top – got at trunk sale ~4 years ago

5. Bald Eagle feather – gift

[I'm having video issues and have been unable to upload today's video to youtube, but here are all my other videos in case you haven't seen them]

It was interesting reading the inside label of #3, the white Truth tank top – I’d forgotten the affirmation it had on the inside, which was part of my reason for buying it in the first place; and this affirmation is EXACTLY what I’ve been doing lately:

I was never comfortable being my authentic self with my dad. I would just shut down while I was around him, even into my late twenties. I began dealing with the situation energetically a few years ago, working on healing it on my end, and as I did that he began to contact me less and less, which was very interesting to observe. Now that he’s transitioned off this planet, I don’t have to deal with him anymore; but I still had the deeply ingrained, protective ego habits of squelching my authenticity, wisdom and power. No more!

My commitment to my own authenticity and expression has been tested this past month and a half. You see me go off in the video, slightly perturbed, about someone’s questioning as to why I haven’t taken Kriya initiation or Discipleship yet. The short answer: I don’t feel called to either, and I am following my heart. If my heart doesn’t give a big YES/I LOVE IT! then I’m not doin’ it.

I know that I still have some healing to work out around this topic due to my reactivity, but my whole healthy and beautiful empowerment and authentic expression thing is still fresh! I don’t need people trying to push me into conformity as I’m trying to overcome years and years of conditioning and fear to live my soul’s truth…

I also point out something I think is quite true: “Love is acceptance and appreciation, not judgement and unsolicited advice.”

A lot of people out there don’t know how to love.

And a lot of people out there don’t know how to love themselves.

Do you?

Transitions

Today I touched a dead man’s hand.

It was softer than I expected – not rigid and cold, but seemingly still alive.

I thanked him. Thanked him for the beauty of his vision, for what he’d created on this planet, and for all the lives he’d touched, including my own.

I’d seen him alive, for the first time, almost exactly one month ago, March 17, 2013. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but when he began to speak I was moved to tears – he radiated love and joy, and as he shared simple messages of love and unity, he would himself be overcome with emotion, the power of his joy blocking his voice. Very old and slightly stooped, he mumbled his words, he told jokes, and he laughed as he looked slowly around the room. Pure love, joy, and light radiated from him.

And something inside me opened. I was suddenly aware of a deep terror within me that I’d never recognized – I was struck by the sad truth that I’ve always been afraid of stepping into my own wisdom and power. Something broke free within me, and I realized that it was time. It was time for me to become who I am.

This internal shift led quickly to a few external shifts that I’d been considering for some time beforehand – chopping off all my hair and changing my name being the two main ones.

This man was Swami Kriyananda, a direct disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda and the creator of the Ananda communities worldwide. He left his body today. I’m sure he’s now joyfully reunited with the Divine, and I’m sending love to all those who will miss him.

Today I am taking the day off from the LightLiving Challenge; will begin again tomorrow.

The LightLiving Challenge – Day 2

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” -Alan Cohen

Today I picked my first ‘five to release’ and ‘three to keep’ in my 30-day Challenge. Oddly enough, I discovered that picking the five to release was easier than choosing the three to keep.

The Five Releases:

1. An old black purse from Target that I’d kept so I’d have a decent-looking black bag for ‘nice’ occasions. But I never go to ‘nice’ occasions anymore, and I have my tan Mandarin Duck bag that’s nice enough if I ever do.

2. A box that someone gave me to store/organize jewelry supplies. It was originally a chocolate-covered date box from Abu Dhabi. The idea’s nice but it’s cardboard so not really sturdy enough.

3. A book called The Spirit of Prophecy from the Land of Assisi Refuge and Salvation by Massimo Coppo. A friend met this pilgrim man who was traveling through Assisi and selling this self-published book; to be nice he bought a copy, but since my Italian friend doesn’t read English very well, he gave it to me.  At first I was excited by the gift, hoping it would have some profound truths, or at least some crazy ravings. But it’s not very interesting. Here’s an excerpt, picked at random:

“Well, this is what Marcello later wrote about his retreat, in a note for which some priests had pressed him, and which he first of all submitted to his confessor (who wanted it to be given the title: Fragments of a prophetic story which the Lord is accomplishing inthe land of Assisi”): “On the 15th August 1981, the feast of the Assumption, I withdrew myself for forty days, as it were into the desert, in the former barn of a farmhouse at Rocca Sant’Angelo… I wanted to imitate Jesus, Moses and St. Francis.”

See? Boring.

4. A book called Un Indovino Mi Disse (A Fortune Teller Told Me) by Tiziano Terzani. This book sounds much more interesting. I found it in a book swap box by Santa Chiara church in the Bosco di San Francesco (St. Francis’ Woods).

“Warned by a Hong Kong fortune-teller not to risk flying for an entire year, Tiziano Terzani—a vastly experienced Asia correspondent—took what he called “the first step into an unknown world. . . . It turned out to be one of the most extraordinary years I have ever spent: I was marked for death, and instead I was reborn.”

However, I’ve had the book since November, and though I can read Italian, it takes a bit of effort, and if I haven’t read it yet I probably won’t. So I’m going to pass it on.

5. My very favorite very comfortable pair of Teva flip flops that I absolutely love. I think I’ve had these for five years (maybe more), and though there’s an ever-growing hole in the bottom of one of them, I still kinda want to keep them, just so I have a pair of flip flops for around the house. But I’ve decided to  toss them and make room for a new pair – otherwise I never really think I NEED a new pair, as I’ve still got these disintegrating ones hanging out.

The three things I love that I’m choosing to keep:

1. A journal my friend Kalyani gave me for my birthday last month.

2. A compass and hematite necklace that I made.

3. A golden Ganesh and citrine necklace that I also made.

The keepers were harder to choose than the letting go-ofs because I really only want to keep things that I LOVE. And I realized while looking around that I have a lot of items that I’m ambivalent about.

Though I’m already having doubts about what I’m releasing – What if I need a black purse? (answer: I can borrow one from someone). What if I can’t find comfortable flip flops so far from REI? (answer: I’ll be fine even if I don’t own flip flops right now). What if it turns out I do want to read ‘Un indovino mi disse’? (answer: I can get it in English via Kindle).

I opened to a random passage in another book that I’m keeping for the moment. Here’s some poignant wisdom from Paramahansa Yogananda:

“It is rare to see a truly “free” man. Most people think they aer free, while their minds are utterly fettered by psychological chains. These are harder to get rid of than ordinary chains; for in their subtlety they are difficult even to recognize, not to speak of how to destroy them! It requires a great deal of knowledge to cut those psychological restraints.”

- from Journey to Self-Realization

How relevant.

I’m very aware of my self-imposed limits to how free I am. I’ve freed myself from a lot these past two years, but it’s a continual process of letting go. I feel that this challenge will give me a final solid push through the paper chains of my fears. At least, I hope so!

Happy LightLiving!

Naming Myself (Part 1)

I was planning on writing about my name change – I’m now Maya Lila – but as I’m learning more about the words, it’s turning into a huge production. I could probably write an ebook on this.

The short answer: Maya is the sanskrit word for the illusion of duality and separation; Lila is sanskrit for divine play or game. The name Maya came to me last September as I was sitting in an olive tree, feeling sad and having a good cry. Later that day I shared the name with some people who still live in a rather fear-based paradigm (the word Maya scares them a bit) so they insisted I add something lighter, and suggested Lila – which is actually my favorite sanskrit word.

So this new name is a mantra, a reminder, for Me – THIS IS ALL A GAME. You’re a divine creator, a bubble of cosmic consciousness in a skin suit. Play. Have fun. Lighten up!

The word Maya actually has a whole bunch of other meanings and is generally misunderstood. So I’ll go into more depth in another post, and also expound on the philosophy of the name, which perfectly resonates with my life philosophy.

In the meantime, I’ll share a bit about the beautiful day I had yesterday:

In the morning I helped out with a children’s workshop at the Academy of Art, Creativity & Consciousness. The theme of the day was The Universe; I led the kids through some yoga poses (after sun saluation/moon/star, we moved on to animals… hey, animals are IN the Universe) and we showed them a video about our solar system and this AMAZING “Scale of the Universe” interactive game – click click click!!!. I translated everything into Italian and was impressed by my own ability to talk about Nebulae and Quarks in a foreign language. Woo hoo!

Kids Creating the Universe

The kids here at Ananda are pretty amazing, much more able to regulate their emotions and focus than most kids I’ve worked with in the outside world.

In the afternoon a friend gave me a ride on his motorino, which ended up dying a few kilometers into the ride (the motorino, not the friend); luckily we were going downhill so we rolled along for a few more kilometers as I laughed my arse off, tried to distinguish sheep from goats, and enjoyed the rolling Umbrian hills and dramatic clouds.

Eventually the motorino started up again and we got back safely.

Then I took a little nature walk. Spring is coming!!!

Life is good.

Re-Birth Day

It’s my birthday!

I’m 34.

I’m living my dream of living in Italy. I have a community of amazingly loving and supportive friends who are like an international family. I get to breathe fresh air and be in nature every day.

I’m healthy. I’m getting back in shape after the last two years of over-eating in an imperfect attempt to ground myself while leaping into the void, trying to figure out who I am and what I want, not to mention traveling and gorging on sugar and regional delicacies (medialunas, anyone??). I’m doing yoga every morning, meditating, journaling, visualizing, and affirming. 

I currently have 55€ cash, $19.23 in the bank, and about $50,000 in debt, mostly student loans, along with medical bills from the rabid bat attack of summer 2011, and the last of my credit cards, and as of right now no solid and apparent source of monetary income.

A week ago, during a life coaching session with my friend Lakshmi in Portugal, we determined that I should be a spiritual counselor, despite the terror that brings up for me. So I started the website The Divine Reminder-er. It’s under construction but I’d love your feedback.

I’m living at the Academy of Art, Creativity & Consciousness and I eat at Ananda in exchange for the work I do for the Academy – basically running it while the founder Dana’s away in the States, working on the website, organizing the calendar and communications.

Swami Kriyananda, the founder of the Ananda communities, flew in from India a few days ago, and I heard him speak for the first time on Sunday. He radiates love, joy and life. I cried through most of it. I also realized that this path, his path, Ananda’s path – with the gurus and Swami and Hong-Sau meditation and Kriya yoga – is not my path.

My path is to be as authentically me as I will allow myself to be. My path is to connect to the infinite divinity/my higher self within me, directly. My path is to follow my heart, my bliss, my excitement, my intuition. My path is to step into my own power, my own wisdom, my own divinity, and to share it with others. 

That’s why I cried when I saw Swami Kriyananda. I could feel the power of my own calling. It’s been getting louder over these past years, and it terrifies me. I’m afraid of being truly me. I’m afraid of standing up, standing out. I’m afraid of being rejected, abandoned, isolated. I’m afraid of being as weird as I know I am.

Weird.

Adjective: Suggesting something supernatural; uncanny; of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural: magical; of strange or extraordinary character; odd, fantastic.

Noun: fate, destiny, soothsayer.

Archaic: Of or relating to fate or the Fates.

Root: Middle English wird, werd, werde: fate, having power to control fate, from Old English wyrd, fate; akin to Old Norse urthr fate, Old English weorthan to become — word, worth.

“There is a weird power in a spoken word.” – Joseph Conrad

 

Today, I am the most authentic I have ever been – authentic, author, writer of my own story. I’m also physically authentic – no nail polish, no shaving or waxing my body (yes, I have hairy armpits and legs, for the first time since they began to grow in at puberty), and today I am cutting all of my dyed hair off – a practice I’ve kept up for the last 21 years, as I also started dying my hair blonde around puberty, when it went from white-blonde to ash blonde, and a brunette Jewish girlfriend introduced me to Sun-in. She ended up giving me her bottle as it only turned her hair orange.

I’m done with the violence against myself, done with the rejection and denial of who I am. I want complete and total love and acceptance for my weird, powerful, authentic self.

I feel like I’m coming to a zero point in my life, a complete destruction of the old in order to fully step into my … not my potential, as that word was used to punish me too many times when I was young, a ruler to make me feel guilty about the external expectations I wasn’t living up to. It’s in order to fully step into ME, who I truly am when in alignment with my heart/soul/authentic higher self.

 

The Life of Words

Peace Jesus! *(more info at end of blog)

There’s something I love and had forgotten it had a name: Etymology, ”the study of the history of words, their origins, and how their form and meaning have changed over time.”

I often look up the roots of a word to get a more profound sense of what exactly is behind its normal, assumed, mundane meaning. When it comes to words and language, I think it’s important to remember that language is a living thing that evolves. Which means to say languages moves, it rolls, it twists, it changes. It never stays the same, and its purpose is not to stay the same, because that would mean that it’s dead. Like Latin.

So, 1. Language is a living being that evolves and 2. translating changes meaning considerably. If you’re the kind of person who’s interested in Truth, I think it’s of tantamount importance to remember that much, if not the majority, of historical texts we have have been translated, often many times. Take Jesus’ teachings, and the Bible. Both translated over thousands of years, many times. The more you translate, the farther you get from the original intended meaning.

What’s up with the Biblical talk? Well, this morning I somehow ended up in a conversation with a friend about Jesus and persecution… Oh yes – My 34th birthday is coming up in a few days, and this friend mentioned something about Jesus dying at age 33. I quipped, “Well, at least I haven’t been crucified yet.” Yet. I feel like I might be getting close here at the Ashram, as the pressure has been growing for me to make some Choices about what I’m doing here and what path I want to be on.

Anyways, said friend brought up how Jesus, Paramahansa Yogananda and Swami Kriyananda all said that if you follow god, you’ll be persecuted.

So I asked: What does “persecuted” really mean?

Of course, we think of persecuted as a negative – punished, attacked, abused, jailed.

The current definition is:

1. To oppress or harass with ill-treatment, especially because of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or beliefs.

2. To annoy persistently; bother.

I’m not sure I’d classify being killed by having your hands nailed onto chunks of wood a “bother.” Though I suppose if you look at it from the perspective of an eternal infinite god being, it’s not that big a deal.

Then I looked at the roots of the word ‘persecution’:

Middle English, from Old French persecuter, back-formation from persecuteur, persecutor, from Late Latin persector, from persectus, past participle of persequ, to persecute, from Latin, to pursue : per-, per- + sequ, to follow; see sekw-1 in Indo-European roots.

To pursue, to follow. MUCH different from oppressing, harassing or annoying. And ‘sekw’ sure looks like ‘seek’ to me.

So, maybe what was REALLY being said was that if you are true to and follow your innate, divine, authentic nature, others will follow. Yeah, Jesus’s physical body sack got pinned to a tree, but 2,000 years later he’s still one of the most famous dudes in history.

Basically, in modern lingo: Consciousness is Contagious.

*photo description: Gesù Che Benedice statue by Sandro Da Verscio, available for purchase; and Fatima Moonstone Necklace, available for purchase; if interested in more info on either, leave a comment below with your email address.

Dreaming You Are Not God

Oh, how I love Alan Watts. And oh, how I love beautiful nature scenery, and happy humans running about, and closeups of glittering human eyes.

Can you feel the truth of Alan’s words? All the confusion about this life, all the suffering, all the drama we create; if we could actually KNOW this truth he’s telling us, plain and simple, REALIZE our divinity while in this skin sack rather than waiting until we’ve died…

How much more fun would this life game be??? Games in general are infintely more fun when you don’t have the fear of being killed when you lose. We don’t live in ancient Rome. The lions are not coming for you. You are infinite, you are divine, you are free.

Can you feel it?

Photo by me, Rome 2012

Setting Inner Greatness Free

“The word education derives from the Latin educare, which means “to draw forth from within.” Unfortunately, much of our educational system has fallen into the regime of “pound in from without.” Real education recognizes that each student embodies genius unique to him- or herself, and the goal of learning is to set inner greatness free.”                                                            -Alan Cohen

Every morning I read the day’s entry in ‘A Daily Dose of Sanity’ by Alan Cohen. I started back in 2007 with ‘A Deep Breath of Life,’ also by Alan. He’s one of my favorite spiritual/self development authors for his insight and sense of humor.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m here to do: my purpose / soul’s calling / what I choose to create / how to use my gifts and enthusiasm and energy for the highest good. AND how to ‘survive’ in this material world – how to get paid (and be open to receiving) doing what I love. Getting over the fear blocks of not-good-enough and just GIVING, being of service, creating all the value I can for others.

Synchronistically, I took a break from writing this entry to attend the ‘sermon’ at the Ceremony of Light (like mass, but the Ananda Ashram version), and today’s talk was about education. The guest speaker was a man who’s the head of the Education for Life schooling system, inspired by Paramahansa Yogananda.  He spoke about how education up to this point was focused on suppression rather than encouraging the unique, individual growth and development of children; he spoke of the gifts and examples of love and trust that children have to offer, how children have higher vibrations than most adults, and how they’re naturally closer to God.

As a bright and talkative child, I received years of negative conditioning in school, being frequently punished, isolated, sent outside or to the principal’s office for not sitting down and shutting up. I’ve had to work hard to undo these internalized messages of wrongness, and am still doing the work today. Probably due to my experiences, I’m fascinated by the movement towards child-centered education, unschooling, and child-driven schooling. (check out an amazing TED talk here).

These last few years I’ve been teaching myself to tune out the negative conditioning and follow my bliss, follow what excites me, do what I love, and trust that everything will work out. It’s often uncomfortable, stressful, scary and challenging, but as my life becomes more and more what I want it to be and I feel freer and more fulfilled, the more I feel that I’m on the right path, and the easier it is to trust.

I was not raised and educated in a system that encouraged me to “set my inner greatness free,” but as an adult, this is what I’ve chosen to be my life’s work. And my life’s play. I hope that our children and future generations won’t have to do all of the un-doing that I see myself and many others having to do; the work of un-schooling, de-programming and healing.

Trust is still the biggest challenge at the moment – trusting that I have value to give, that I deserve to receive in return, and that if I continue to follow my bliss/intuitions/dreams, that everything will work out.

I’ve been moving beyond my fearful perfectionist/protectionist/procrastination habits and creating – like the building the temporary website for the Academy www.awakeningartsacademy.com and putting together this video – my first attempts at building websites and editing videos. I’ve also made more necklaces and will be posting them online, available for sale.

Garnet & Onyx Prayer Wheel Necklace on Snowy Buddha, Feb 2013

And, inspired by my soul-sister and amazing blogger China Brooks, I’ve added a donation button at the bottom of my blog. Over this past year and a half of nomadic traveling and self-discovery, many have told me that I’ve inspired them. I know how good it feels to give, and I’ve been told that if you don’t allow others to give back, in a way you’re stealing from them – stealing the opportunity for them to show their appreciation and support, and to receive the gift of giving.

So, if you ever feel so inspired, I will happily and joyfully accept your donations!

I’m full of gratitude today as I transition into this next phase of my life, setting more and more of my inner greatness free! Thank you for coming along with me on this journey…

“Everyone has a bankable talent. You came to earth for a purpose. On the deepest level you are here for a spiritual purpose, to discover your identity and your value in the cosmic plan. You also have a form of expression in the world, to serve others while fulfilling yourself. Do not stop until you have tapped into your talent and expressed it. It is why you are here.

Talents are valuable only if you use them. If you “hide your light under a basket,” the light doesn’t get to do what it was created to do. If you ignore or deny your talents, the world misses the blessing you were born to bring to it, and you miss the spiritual and material reward you deserve.” – Alan Cohen, ‘Trust Your Talent’

“Never underestimate the power of any act of courage or kindness. When you live in alignment with your true self, you send out ripples that affect the entire universe.” – Alan Cohen, ‘Thank You For Eating The Cake’