March 13, 2012
“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do in order to have what you want.” – Margaret Young
This quote from www.TheDailyLove.com is just what I needed to hear today.
I was having doubts this morning about my recent choices in life, specifically the choice to end my work relationship with the business partner I moved down to Argentina to work with, and instead follow my heart and focus, really focus, on my own healing and creative expression and desire to live closer to nature.
With the business partner I was seeking to create a financial base to build my dreams on top of; but I’ve realized that that’s not what my soul wants to do. And I can’t compromise anymore, because my soul’s just too damn stubborn; it ends up refusing to participate at all and sabotaging me, manifesting in procrastination, anxiety, guilt, shame and broken commitments. I’ve come to the realization that nothing’s worked because I’m not “being who I really am”; even in this past year of freedom from a day job, I’ve continued to be who I felt like I should be. “Should.” The nastiest word in the English language.
So I think/hope/feel that I’m finally beginning to live my life forwards, rather than backwards – by being who I really am, figuring out what *I* really want, and from there I will “do what I need to do in order to have what I want”. Because I want to, not because I feel like I should.