My New Favorite Blog

Idle Words, www.idlewords.com, is my new favorite blog. The posts – essays, really – are well-crafted, interesting, and witty. An inspiration!

Here are a few choice tidbits:

“Why maintaining the elevator should require eleven hours of hammering is something I try not to think about, just as I avoid asking why this particular elevator has to get its inspection certificate stamped each month instead of, say, every three years.”

“I just finished a summer studying Arabic at the Monterey Institute for International Studies… just down the road from a grim military counterpart called the Defense Language Institute, where young men and women learn how to eavesdrop on the nation’s enemies, provided that the enemies speak slowly and limit their conversation to hobbies and the weather.”

“Eating steaks in Argentina feels like joining a cult. You find yourself leaning on friends to come visit, and writing YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND in all caps more often than feels comfortable.”

Please excuse the silence!

Obviously, I battle with consistency. For awhile I’ll post regularly and feel like I’m doing good, and then procrastination kicks in and I put the brakes on my creative expression. Call it upper limiting, call it self sabotage, call it fear – I’m working on working it out.

That’s the main issue.

BUT, I also have two good technology-related excuses:

1. Internet: Our house is plagued with internet issues; I haven’t had a reliable connection at home for some time. Perhaps it’s the resident ghost. We’re getting a new router this weekend; maybe we should draw a pentagram on it, or waft some sage smoke over it for protection…

2. Computer: I spilled safflower oil all over my laptop keyboard last summer. I was certain I’d killed it, but it turns out my Vostro is fairly hardy and has stayed alive. As time passes, though, it gets increasingly spastic. Sometimes it beeps at me angrily on startup; sometimes I have to press control-alt-delete to make it past the main boot page. Once it’s up and running it likes to pull up my battery meter and show me how much battery power I have left. Every 30 seconds. It also likes to paste everything on the clipboard 7 times in a row whenever I hit the M key (the built-in keyboard no longer functions; I’ve been using an external board for a few months now). Or my computer will decide to open 47 tabs in Google Chrome. If I scream and hit the built-in keyboard when it starts opening tabs, sometimes I can get it to stop around 15.

Good times.

I’m still here. I’m still thinking. I’ll still be posting occasionally during my lunch breaks.

I’m hoping a Mac is in my near future.

I Confess!!!

I’ve fallen off the wagon.

Or rather, I’ve swan dived off the wagon, face first, mouth open, into a kiddie pool filled with liquid dark chocolate. And cashews. And caramel. And peanut butter. And cheesecake.

Allow me to ‘splain.

Since January 1st of 2011, I have been going through a cleansing process to break old habits of eating. Not the lemon-water-cayenne-pepper type of cleanse, but a whole/natural/unprocessed/organic foods type of cleanse. I’ve  been eating mostly fruits and veggies from Farmer’s Markets, supplemented by hemp milk and dried lentils from Trader Joe’s. Little to no refined sugar, processed foods, dairy, red meat, and absolutely no caffeine or alcohol (except for a cup of decaf coffee – it was gross, even though it was Intelligensia – and a splash of wine out of a a roommate’s 2-week-old bottle that I put in some soup I was making for dinner guests).

I could count on one hand the number of times over the past 40 days that I’d eaten refined sugar.

Until Friday.

It started with a free lunch. The VP at our company owed me lunch – I forget why – so I opted for Tender Greens in Culver City. Tender Greens is one of my all-time favorite restaurants. I’m not sure if it’s the mashed potatoes or the price point or the fact that the produce and meat is sourced from a farm in Oxnard, but I just love me some TGs.

They also have some of the best desserts in LA.

So that’s when the slide began.

I got a cookie. A delicious oatmeal cookie with chocolate chips and pistachios. Pistachios!!! The cookie was huge, round, perfectly crispy on the outside. Amazing.

That’s it! I thought. Not another grain of refined sugar for at LEAST a week!

But then… then the next afternoon I found myself in front of a table of Nicobello chocolates on a sidewalk on Abbot Kinney. Free samples – FREE SAMPLES – of some of the most – ok, THE most – delicious, vegan, organic, fair trade, locally-made, antioxidant-packed, all-the-right-marketing-words “HEALTHY” truffles I’ve ever tasted. PUMPKIN CHAI truffles, Blueberry Almond truffles, Ginger Green Tea truffles, Walnut Flaxseed truffles, Sunflower Banana Butter truffles, Pure Cocoa Bliss truffles…

Fuck me.

I bought a sampler, with one of each flavor. I systematically destroyed the six truffles over a 30 minute time span – as I strolled down the street, as I perused an art gallery, as I drove home with the top down in the sunshine.

Oh yeah – I also polished off a (small) bag of their Maple Nut Munch, with 72% dark chocolate, Maple Pecans & a touch of sea salt.

That’s it! I thought. SERIOUSLY this time, not another grain of refined sugar for at least another week!!!

The next day I ate super healthy – fruit, veggies, leek & sweet potato soup.

But then… then my roommate’s friends came over to have a Grammys party.

With pizza.

And a huge glossy fruit tart from Whole Foods.

I hadn’t had pizza in about 50 days at this point, and I hadn’t had more than a few tastes of cheese on the occasional salad.  I caved.

I don’t feel like I ate THAT many slices of pizza, but I was in pain for about an hour and a half afterwards. I’m guessing it was my stomach trying to figure out how to digest the huge globes of low-quality (and probably hormone-laden) cheese I was gulping down. Then there was the fruit tart with the sandy buttery crust that I love so much.

I may have had two slices of the fruit tart.

Monday I think I actually made it through the day without sugar. Tuesday, however, I had another slice of the leftover fruit tart (it was a friend’s birthday!), and then I actually dug into giant box of Lemon & Raspberry Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake that’s been in our freezer for a few weeks (I did not eat the whole thing. Thank god).

Today was the doozy – I went to Trader Joe’s, and my willpower buckled completely and I bought myself two kinds of chocolate – Soft Peanut Brittle, which is rather like a less dense Butterfinger, and Dark Chocolate Covered Caramels, which are actually a bit too chewy for me. That didn’t stop me from eating a few handfuls of each before dinner tonight (I did also give away 1/2 of the Peanut Brittle to the parking attendant as I left the garage – I like to brighten the attendant’s day).

So, that’s where I am. I am utterly failing at the No Refined Sugar part of my challenge.

But you know what? That’s ok. Along with my discipline challenges, I am also practicing self-acceptance and self-kindness. I could beat up on myself, be mad at myself, be disappointed, but instead, I’m going to let myself eat chocolate for a bit. When I’m ready to stop again, I trust that I’ll stop.

I also realized today the main reason behind why I have been binging like this – my period is a week late. No baby scares here, unless it’s the immaculate conception of the second coming of Christ. Actually, I’m certain it’s because I had some female friends spend the weekend at my place the week before last, and at least one was on the rag. My body syncs up with pretty much any woman’s cycle if I spend more than a few hours with her – I once didn’t get my period for two months when my closest female friend (and neighbor) got pregnant.

So, I’m fighting against the power of biology and whacked-out hormones. Additionally, I’ve noticed that my body tends to go into binge mode anyways if I lose any weight, which I have what with all the fruits and veggies I’ve been eating. It’s a bit annoying, but I can’t blame my body for trying to protect me from what it apparently interprets as risk of imminent death.

I’ll take these chocolates I bought from Trader Joe’s with me to work tomorrow to divvy up amongst coworkers. Hopefully I’ll be able to go hiking this weekend. Maybe I’ll try doing some eating meditations when I’m tempted to bing again.

And most importantly, I hope my hormones even out soon. If they don’t, I may need to invest in a larger pair of jeans.

 

The Big Ice Cream Cone in the Sky!!!

 

a Poem

from BE HERE NOW by the Lama Foundation:

 

Example: Some body looks at you seductively…

An ice cream cone goes by…………

Will it ever be

THE BIG ICE CREAM CONE

IN THE SKY?

Will it ever be an ETERNAL Ice Cream Cone?

Or…. Is it always going to melt?

You gotta keep eating it

Yet it melts & melts,

That’s the problem

You gotta keep eating it cuz it will melt…

….& then it’s gone

& you know  that taste in your mouth when you

finish &… You want a glass of water? Right?…

Then you have a glass of water & there’s that

BLOATY FEELING?…

Then, you’re ready for the NEXT one…..

To get rid of THAT one………

Let’s take a walk…. & you take a walk…..

It’s cold out. Let’s have some hot chocolate,

Yes, let’s have some, & on & on & on & it’s called

LIFE

You see: the opposite of craving is saying

BABY, THIS IS THE WAY IT IS

YEAH

OK

HERE & NOW

THIS IS IT

I ACCEPT THE HERE & NOW

FULLY

AS

IT

IS

RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT!!!

 

Be like the wind

Be authentically you; figure out how to serve the world.

The most beautiful youtube video ever

This might be the most beautiful youtube video I’ve ever seen. It actually made me tear up a little the first time I watched it - rarely do you see such an expression of PURE, unadulterated JOY.

I love the look of rapture on his face at 0:07. And make sure you watch the 2 minute mark, it’s pretty funny.

Chris D’Elia – Screaming Germans

There are few things I find more hilarious in this world than German accents and screaming.

God I love Jon Stewart.

In under 10 minutes, Jon:
-Makes fun of upper lip hair
-Ridicules a radical
-Does a Jewish Hulk
-Pretends to lick an Imam’s beard
-Exposes Republican hypocrisy & double talk
-Shows a Koran-stealing Shaggy look-alike
-Compares the media to my favorite scene from Up: (“Squirrel!”)
-Makes fun of Scientology (“of Death!”)
-And concludes with a waterskiing squirrel.

I tried to stick the video in here, but it doesn’t seem to be working…Click here to see the clip!

Beautiful.
Bravo, Jon, bravo.

I want a Tree Boat House.

Two of my favorite things are Tree Houses and Boats. Today I had a flash of genius: combine the two!!!

Here’s how I came up with this:

I was walking through my neighborhood this morning, smelling roses and listening to one of Brian Johnson’s Philosophers Notes (specifically, one on Robin Sharma’s book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari). I was also dreaming about the tree house I will eventually live in.

I got home and saw that an architect friend (who, according to my plan, will someday help me design and build said tree house) had serendipitously sent me this photo, with the caption: “I found you a nice sturdy tree house.”

Shanty town in the trees.

Then on Facebook, I saw that a chef friend had posted the picture below:

I'm guessing we'd serve a lot of seafood...and coconut dishes.

So, envisioning my ideal life, I saw myself running this restaurant with my chef friend, while living in a tree house overhead (or at least nearby).

Of course, the shantytown-looking tree houses above wouldn’t work in a tropical area that is prone to hurricanes. Hence the Tree House Boat concept was born. A tree house made out of an actual boat that has been hoisted into a tree!  So if it falls out of the tree in one of the aforementioned hurricanes and lands in the ocean, no problem!!!

Wouldn't you feel safer living in this if it were a boat?

The closest thing I could find to a currently-existing Tree Boat House was this:

An attempt at a Tree Boat House. Nice try.

That, however, is not a real boat.

It would be pretty cool if I could get something like the boat below into a tree, though it looks a bit  fragile to survive a fall into the ocean:

Trees are made out of wood. Boats are made out of wood, too...The combination just makes sense.

Though one of these pods looks like it would float:

Will roll AND float.

And, lastly, here’s a Tree Submarine House option:

Wouldn't you feel safer living in this if it were over water?

I’d have to make sure the glass is shatter-proof.

“Remember, every great leader (or visionary or brave thinker) was initially laughed at. Now they are revered.”

-Robin Sharma

A kiss is a lovely trick.

I saw this quote on a poster the other day:

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”

-Ingrid Bergman

She looks like she did a lot of osculating in her time.

I’d never thought about it in that way. It makes so much sense, Ingrid! Nice bit of wisdom.

So it got me thinking about why humans kiss.  The most prominent theories center on pheromones and hormones. Seems we can “sniff out” a better mate (someone who’s got an immune system that’s much different from ours) when our faces are smashed together. And kissing swaps hormones – the arousal-boosting testosterone in male saliva gets ingested by the female, and apparently men might get cues as to whether a woman is ovulating or not.

If that hasn’t turned you off yet, this might – another interesting evolutionary theory is that mothers used to pre-chew their baby’s’ food and then press their lips to the baby’s to transfer said food, forming the roots of kissing. Sounds gross but I’ll admit I’ve done this on occasion, though only with something appropriate, like candy. And, uh, not with babies.

Not all cultures kiss. There are apparently some tribes out there that refrain – the indigenous people of Australia, certain tribes in Africa, and Tahitians. Sucks to be them.

Anyways, I hadn’t heard or read about any theories related to Ingrid’s take on kissing. But she got me thinking: kissing is very meditative. Which makes sense – when you’re engaging in the preludes to the carnal, animalistic, instinctual act of procreation, your thinking mind needs to get out of the way. (Though maybe sometimes it shouldn’t…).

Engaging the mouth, giving it something to do, shuts off your talking/thinking mind. You are entirely focused on the person in front of you.  You are fully in the moment, connected with the physical sensations coming through your nerve-filled lips. You have closed your eyes to shut out any visual distractions. Also, as in meditation, your breathing deepens (if you haven’t lost your breath completely).

Of course, all of the things above only apply to good kissing. Which actually makes me think about what makes a person a bad kisser. Maybe it’s too much thinking? Not paying attention? Distraction? I wouldn’t know.

To close, here’s another nice kissing quote – though obviously not a belief subscribed to by the Tahitians… and maybe by “spirit” the ancient lovers mean pheromones…or food:

“Ancient lovers believed a kiss would literally unite their souls, because the spirit was said to be carried in one’s breath.”

-Eve Glicksman

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P.S. Good words to know: Osculation and Philematologist. Google them. Use them.